Just my thoughts

Just as I was ending a conversation with two co-workers I learned two things from that situation and from the previous engagement with those who are nothing like myself or of the same background. The day before we were playing a game called “What do you meme” and the game consisted of common memes from social media and everyone will use one of the many cards they have been given to fit that meme. Although the game was lots of fun, and of course, yours truly had won, I learned in that quality time that people will look at the same picture of places, people and facial expressions and not have a clear understanding of what they are looking at. I learned that people can hear and see the exact same thing and tone and still interpret it differently.

This morning we were in a discussion about that game and others and what is age appropriate for families, and just adults. The conversation steered left and we got on the subject of academics of kids. I learned that where some may see a solution, some may see a moment to gloat and complain in the same breath. Privilege will have some complaining about the money they spend in a time of many free resources and brag about the  amount they have to pay (that they may not be paying themselves) while others are providing an opportunity to reduce cost. Another may see one finding financial opportunity in taking advantage of others as the only way to get ahead while another person will see the benefit and opportunity in someone paying It forward to provide the same service.

Sometimes I think it is a blessing and a curse to think about the world and situations as if you’re in another persons shoes, to see the bigger picture, and actually look at and see the world for what it is and have an understanding for all things. Sometimes I wish I could be as selfish and thoughtless as others. I found that we tend to be more at peace when not surrounded by anyone, but living in a world where it is shaped by others who won’t see value in that unless you are surrounded by everyone has become the norm and a factor in some avenues of life.

My horoscope read…” Your idealism may be front and center in your life today. Many will never see the world as you do. While you don’t have to agree with how other people live their lives, try to keep an open mind and be accepting of them anyway. Libras need both the darkness and the light to reach full potential — after all, the world wouldn’t have fairness without them! Our lives are better with friends in it and our differences keep things interesting.

You Have Unique Abilities. You were born with your specific passions for a reason, and no one else in this world can pursue them exactly the way you can. Let what you love act as a cool breeze on a warm summer day, drawing and pulling you in for the most amazing motivation ever. You may find that you find well-being and happiness wherever you are.

Your Daily Soul Quote: Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value. — Albert Einstein

With that being said, I have to get back to me, by focusing on my bigger goal without the distraction of others but I also need friends once in a while that are different, have culture and are life-minded. That word might not make sense to you, but it makes perfect sense to me. It is time to make changes. Just knowing when people are necessary to be around and when they are not plays a huge role in being happy.

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Forward

My thoughts are my fears, my innocence and tears

No one cannot see, although clear as can be

Death was the start, a promised life now shattered

Poor decisions began a battle between a demon and angel

Friendships shed over time…and in time mattered

What should be seen is unseen because feelings come in parts

Very few relate to the battle of war on all sides

Transition is change somewhat of an art

Displaying turmoil, pain, standstill through these eyes

Hate is strong and its pierce is sharp

Where shall I go beyond these walls with no door?

Words cannot form what is exact in this mind

Gifts of my words beam through a frozen heart

Created in rage by a shadow of doubt

Self-reflection at best of a journey all mine

Moving forward with caution to break every chain

Hurt feelings and separation is part of the path

No time to regret only room to regroup

In order to finish strong and move past what doesn’t belong

Change

You come to know that your life may just begin,
not early…but two decades past ten.
Some of the things that were meant to be,
is not what you now see.
But you take your steps carefully to not make a mistake,
only to realize that your mistake was fate.
You enjoy every moment until they are gone,
and know that life is short and not long.
On your path to somewhere unknown,
you overcome obstacles that you have blown.
So as you are taking in all life’s blades,
you may now know that those blades, caused change.

FATE

What’s the point of having a voice when you can’t scream?.. Inside these four walls, I can’t break through

The color of black, no windows, no light, My heart is heavy and my pain has now grew

From the emotions, mental and physical fight I wonder how I ended up here in this place of no peace

Thinking back and wondering of all the possible reroutes Figuring if I hadn’t made the wrong turn, would this still be my final destination

All I want to do is find a way out, But for some reason this seems like my eternal damnation

Looking to the left and the right, up and down Saying to myself, where are all those people I once knew?

Why am I here alone drowning in my own silent screams? No matter where they may be they left me here screwed

And for some reason in my heart I know this isn’t a dream My reality is, that things were doomed from the start with nowhere to turn

No windows, no doors, no solution and no answers, A final outcome of not stressing to care why I am here and when I will leave

No hope of the ones I once knew outside waiting and holding up banners But for me to sit here alone for eternity and grieve

The loss of myself, who I was and who I’ve become…a lost soul in a box, with no lights and no air I can’t breathe and I feel as though I am going to suffocate

At the same time and in the same breath I really don’t care And for some strange reason I am content with my fate.